Negative thoughts - Part I

Lots of things happened and dunno where to start not to mention what to blog... Is part of my life that I do not wish to be reminded when I’m old? I really dunno. Lately, I have been feeling weird for the longest time. Am I tired, pissed and taken for granted, I’m already not sure about my own feelings. Don’t even ask me what has happened cos I’m also unable to pin to the problem. All these could have been snow balled to a stage where I dun even know how to manage. The one good thing is that I had not lost my motivation in life but I just dun like the feeling that has been lingering around me. I really dunno what’s wrong! So many things that have happened at home, anything that has to do with $$, we had tried our best to minimize the whole problem. In fact, the big bulk of it has already been paid off now what’s left are the monthly installments that are serviced by herself. I know its not easy but guess that’s the best I can help with my limited means. I have been lucky to have the extra gains to pay all those and not to burden myself as I can’t foresee that I’ve have to take on such heavy burden. The main reason for taking that up was because of my parents especially my dad. Until to-date I still can’t forgot the scene and the look of his face, the sadness in his eyes and his tears! Although I know that I have to move on but when I guess I need lots of time. This is something that cannot be rush. This is just one of the problems. I know its hard to move on but one still have to learn. Kinship is something so close to our heart, family are the ones that will not let go of us. So one has to learn how to appreciate them and not to say things that they are the one that force us into a suitation or that mould us into who we are now. I also believe that if one puts in effort and concern, one can turn the suitation around and not just to put the blame on others.